Domestic Violence
The first time Tahia’s husband yelled at her violently, she thought that it happens between married couples. The first time he hit her during an argument, he immediately apologized and she accepted it through her shock. Then it happened again.
Now it happens for the smallest reason. Maybe the food wasn’t to his taste or she reached home from work later than usual. Tahia’s mother tells her that it’s natural for husbands to do that. She should try not to anger him.
Tahia’s story is common across Bangladesh. Some women get assaulted by their husbands or husband’s family. They get hit for the smallest reason. It can be about small mistakes, dowry, or a need for power over the women.
What is domestic violence?
When violence happens inside a home from one family member to another, that is called domestic violence. We are most familiar with domestic violence where the husband hits the wife.
It is never okay to hit your partner. It is not right to abuse them verbally, physically, or emotionally. It’s no longer a relationship between partners but between an abuser and victim.
If you think your partner is committing domestic violence against you, they
- get angry at the smallest reasons
- yell and threaten you
- demean you
- make you feel terrible about yourself
- hit you (example: slap, punch, kick, push you around, throws you to the ground, etc)
- hit you with an item (belt, something big, hot iron, bat, phone, etc)
- try to control your life
- confiscates important documents
- makes you cut contact with your family and friends
- doesn’t give you privacy
- forces you into sexual acts
How can I escape domestic violence?
If you feel like any of these signs apply to you, please evaluate your relationship. Hitting even once is a breach of trust and respect.
If you live with your partner, try to find women’s shelters and helplines that respond fast. For violent situations, have your bag ready to escape the situation.
Contact a family member or friend who you think might be sympathetic to your situation. If you’re not a working woman, try to find accommodation with family or friends. But if you have an income, you can stay with your family or in cheaper hotels until you get help.
Under any circumstance, don’t share your location with your partner or anyone close to them. They might hunt you down and become more violent.
If it’s possible, contact a woman’s rights lawyer and file a case against him. But, if that’s not possible for you, it’s alright.
Finding the courage to recognize your situation and leaving is enough. It’s a sign of strength. You are not weak because you are a domestic violence victim. It takes immense effort to understand what’s happening to you is wrong and to take action to protect yourself.
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